To Dylzaree From Dylzaree… A Letter to Confused Minds

Seriously, Dylzaree Recentes, the only child of Rebecca and Rizaldy Recentes, what have you been eating?

Why does three (3) INCs and one (1) F not alarm you anymore? Are you going crazy or something?

What has gotten into your cooky head?

First of all, you were not once like this. But of course you weren’t unless I wouldn’t be asking you all of these damn questions.
Just think, you are now at the peak of you College year! You are absolutely crazy to not be taking any of these offenses seriously. What are you thinking about right now. chicken? Stop it. This is insane. How on Earth, in heaven’s name, in all of the universe will you graduate in four year’s time with this kind of record? Kindly explain to me how the hell you are going to take your internship this summer. How are you going to break this news to your mother? Think. Think. Think.

I don’t now where you went wrong along the road to experiencing everything and anything you can grab your hands on. But honestly, along that road, you lost sight of the other priorities. You weren’t looking and thinking hard enough, that’s for sure and your grip on your other priorities weren’t that hard and secure either. So another question, what can you do now?

Dearest Nagging Dylzaree inside me crazy mind,
Well what do you think? Of course I don’t have any answers to your 20 20 questions. Otherwise you wouldn’t be asking them if I did already have answers.

All my INCs freak me out, yes. And my F?! The hell! I have an F it’s effin insane. But why don’t I feel my heart aching or my world about to crush? I don’t know still. I guess I didn’t do anything entirely WRONG or stupid. I guess my priorities, yes, were not set straight. There were a dozen things that I chose to do other than what was already set for me and this reason might just drive my mother mad. Anyway, why I’m not sad or freaking out or clawing my eyes out over my INCs and F? (Shit fuck I have an F) Well, because what’s done has been done. Those grades have already been posted online, you see and I cannot do anything except accept that fact and not dwell on those INCs and 1 F.ย 

If my classmates had found out oh lord they would freak! My mother would probably cry and my father will probably hang me. But other than that, shit, it’s already been done. I’d made my choice and though they were not totally wrong, there were things I should have attended to first. But do I regret, sort always choosing dance first? Well, no. Not one bit, because every second of it I’ve cherished. I cannot exchange those experiences, and would not exchange those experiences for any other. No classroom professor or instructor could have given me the opportunities that dance so far had. I had wanted a life different from any other ordinary student, hence my predicament now. But I am going to make this work. If I have to extend a year or to be able to do my internship outside of Visayas and Mindanao, then so be it (?). That is if my mother and father will permit me. If not, I will have to make do and not be so idealistic then. But whatever happened to dreaming big, huh? Yes, dreaming big. But nowadays, following one’s bliss seems to be more appealing and satisfying than conforming to a standard of norms.

What oh what will my mother say to that? So help me God.

Problems, spare this one part of my life, please.

Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any worse.

I went to the studio seeking relief only to find out that that one place I consider a sanctuary was not exempted from problems of the world after all.

We tackle problems at the studio all the time, but of all the days the Lord has made, it just had to be today!

And to think, the sermon from our Artistic Director tonight was something that didn’t need to be said because he had voiced out the same concern more than once already.

I mean, seriously, other people do not seem to get the concept of initiative. It’s frustrating!
Each member of the company has his/her own problems to deal with outside the studio, and to bring to surface new problems involving the company can almost feel like emotional and psychological suicide for the other members.

Hearing our Artistic Director’s frustrations was also frustrating on my part. Absences, tardiness, and untidiness are such trivial yet important things to keep in mind for the benefit of every member and the studio that we, as dancers, basically live in.

This day was definitely emotionally draining (and to think this day isn’t over just yet). It all feels like every aspect of my life is falling apart and I’m too tired to do anything about it.


INC: Please complete me.

“Please complete me,” is exactly what my INC (Incomplete) grade is asking of me right now or rather the completion of my INC grade is exactly what my mother keeps on reminding me every waking day since I found an “INC” plastered on my record online.

Dear God, my mother must have had an almost heart attack, while, I, on the other was as calm as I could be when I first saw it.

My teacher said I had enough time to take care of my INC grade and that she really wanted me to do a good job on it because she knows that I can do my final paper better than I did.

And so I took on the task of completing my INC failing to foresee the obstacle I’m now currently tackling: my laziness.

It is already February and by next month, it is going to be finals! Dammit, time flies so fast.
I didn’t even notice January passing by, and now it’s already the 27th of February? Are you kidding me?

On top of the INC I need to complete, there is also the issue of another paper I have to finish (ehem.. start) writing which is also due before finals and… and.. Darn it, I think the first thing I have to do is to stop writing on WordPress this instant.

Temporarily, that is.

Gonna log out now… after… publishing… this… post… -_-

What’s in a Haircut

Have you ever looked in the mirror and said to yourself, “I look boring today. I looked this way yesterday, I look this way today, and I’ll probably look this way tomorrow.”
(Sigh) Sad, isn’t it?

And all of a sudden I see my roommate, Lady, walk in the room and I’m like, “Oh my gosh you had a haircut!” And she jokingly says, “Really?! I didn’t notice!” And laughs.

A week after that, here comes Abi, my other roommate (we’re 8 in the room, by the way), walks in the room and my jaw drops. She is now sporting full bangs. So I look at myself in the mirror and once again, I look uber boring and I ask myself when was the last time I had a haircut; and surprisingly I couldn’t remember when that was—definitely a really big sign right in front of my face: I need a haircut.

Which is why this afternoon, when my friends and I were on our way to school from McDonald’s, I was watching Raphaelle’s hair (which underwent herb spa) shining and flowing effortlessly with the wind; I impulsively decided to make a detour.

“Guys, I’m gonna go this way,” I said when we reached the intersection. I walked a few steps to my right away from them and with a deep breath I stopped to say, “I’m gonna get a haircut,” with finality. ๐Ÿ™‚